When I'm home alone I go into their room. I close my eyes and imagine what it will be like to tuck them in, in those little twin beds. Reading them goodnight stories, playing Hungry Hungry Hippos sprawled out on the floor. Helping them with their homework at the kitchen table. Baking cookies together.
Today we have part 2 of our homestudy with Candace. After that, one more visit and then our paperwork will be done. Then we wait for a placement. This Christmas season, my heart is so full of anticipation that it feels like it could burst. Soon, oh so soon, I will be a mom. Something I always knew I would do, something I've always wanted from the deepest parts of me.
Our journey to parenthood has been different from that of most people we know. Fingerprinting, DHS classes, strangers touring our home, interviews. Preparing to love little souls who have been through more than their fair share. Preparing to open our hearts to them, knowing that they may not be ours to keep forever.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't scared. Terrified, even. Our whole life is about to change dramatically, and some days it feels like I'm completely unprepared. I'm thankful that Joseph is my partner in this, that this is something we both feel called to do, that I'm not doing it alone.
More than that, though, I look around at all we have and I think - why wouldn't we do this? God has truly blessed us, more than we could ever deserve. Why would we not want to share it with a child who needs a home? Why would we not welcome them in with open arms? More than 400,000 children are in foster care in the United States. Jesus said that whoever welcomes a little child in his name, welcomes him.
During advent, we prepare our hearts to welcome Jesus. I cannot think of a more fitting way to spend this Christmas season than preparing to welcome a child into our home, in Jesus' name.
I'm so overwhelmed by God's goodness, and humbled that he would call us to this. We are ready for January :)
